23 years old

13th June 2017, Tuesday:

Uh oh hello there, Assalamualaikum! How are you? How's life?

Heyhooo! I would love to update about my life. It has been one year of roller coaster ride, I tell you! So, how do I start? Let's go backwards a little bit, shall we?

Around June 2016, I just finished with my final exams for my final semester. And I have started my internship in Kajang at a private laboratory. And here is when the first rock hit my life. When the exam result came out, I failed a paper! Yes, just because I failed this one paper, I did not graduate on time. This was when I felt that my life seems so blurry, my future seems so black and dark. It was hard, really. I kept it secret from my parents, and even from him. Uh oh, let's name him as H. Hihi I will get to that later! Back to the story, oh and yes, so after about a month or so after the result came out, is the day that I told my parents about it. When everybody were busy preparing for their graduations, were busy photo-shooting so called pre-convocation, and here I was, laying down in my bed. Doing nothing. I was helpless. I was depressed. When I came back from work, I will just drown myself in the bed. Go to sleep right away and I did care nothing about this world. This was the lowest point of my life. Even H was surprised that when we go out, I will be very quiet, I like to stare at blank things and I didn't talk much, like how I use to do. The day that I told him was when he asked me this one day, "When are you going to take your robe?". And this is when I just knew it, I has to tell him the truth. I told him, "I will not graduate this year, H." Okay, so I just revealed this to important persons in my life, but still I have friends to tell them about the real situations. I took all the courage I had to tell them. Oh yes, it ain't easy man, when everybody was counting on you and you just disappointed them. Thank God, after telling everybody that matters to me, I am now at peace. I was trying to live in peace, at least? LOL

September 2016;

2nd September is the day I finished my internship. Freedom alert! I am beyond happy to be 'free' from that laboratory. Hahaha and I was just enjoying my holidays, chilling at home. Ahh what a life. Then my mom just get annoyed to see me lazying around the house. So she got me a part-time job. It was a volunteer job, looking after a carnival something like that. Just two days. The next day, my school friend contacted me, to follow her to a job vacancy-- as a kindie teacher. Taking this job is a life changer for me, I tell you. I started my service as the kindergarten teacher on 15th November. But officially teaching the kids when the school term has started on 3rd January 2017.

2017;

Hello, new year! January 2017 is the month to be remembered. In fact, age 23 is the turning point in my life. The teaching job was tough at first. I had no experience in teaching kindergarten thus it was a rough start for me. My boss push me hard, I thanked her for that. Slowly I am improving myself, to be a better teacher as well as a better person. It was not that hard actually, you just need to know the needs of the person and their red button. I just recall this when I went to a workshop back in my uni days -- it's communication skills. And also plus point for me, because I am an extreme extrovert. So yes, I talk a lot like non stop! The only time I stop talking is when I sleep. Duhh literally HAHA.

Here come the second storm; it was Monday and it was I went for my regular dentist appointment (dental braces). Then I had this itchiness on my foot sole, so I decided to seek Dr after I finished with my dentist. When I was being checked by the doctor, she said she suspected me to have hyperthyroid. I was like, whatttt? What the? Then I had my heart checked as well. I need to lay down and has all those wires attached to my body; my chest, my hands and where else was it, sorry I forgot already. But the thing is, there is something wrong with my heartbeat! It beats faster than it should be. And Dr asked me to do blood test right away. So without hesitation and wasting of time, the next day I went to my intern place to get my blood withdrawn. How irony, I used to be the one who hands on the blood test tube and analyzed the blood, but that day I was the patient and not the lab scientist. The result came out the following day. And yes man, I had hyperthyroidism! My world feel like spinning around and I just cried myself to this news. I thought I was healthy all this while? Allah. So I went back to the clinic and get my medications. I had to consume two type of pills; one to stabilize my heart rate and another one is to get my thyroid hormone to stabilized back to normal range. Yes, I am medical compliance everyday now.

In total, I have to consume 7 pills a day. As I was adapting myself with the situation, my grandma get sick and her condition was very unstable. This one night, I was staying up to finish my lesson plan and teaching works kind of stuff, my grandma had difficulty to breathe. It was around 4 am by that time. Mom quickly called an ambulance, and so we rushed to the hospital. I was with her, my first ever ambulance ride. When we arrived at the emergency unit lobby, the doctors couldn't read her oxygen level. It fluctuated. Then she was quarantined in the emergency unit, there I go settle her registration and everything. I swear to God, I had a feeling that she'll be gone by anytime soon. And that was what happened. My dearest grandmother passed away by my side. I was there, reciting her the 'shahadah'. She went very peacefully that I didn't realize when was her last breathe. Just that I noticed her tears stops flowing out from the corner of her eyes and that was actually the moment she breathe out her last breath. It was a very emotional phase of my life. I am very close with my grandmother, as she lived with my family for the past 6 years of her golden days. To add salt to the wound, my health was not in a good shape too. I need to went through TB screening because I had cough for almost a month now. I had to gave the sample of my sputum, withdraw my blood to be analyzed and had my chest to be X-rayed. The procedure took me 2 weeks, and being emotionally unstable at that moment, I ask for unpaid leaves for 2 weeks from my employer. During the 2 weeks leaves, I accompanied my mom at home. It was a dull week for all of us at home. It feel surreal. The house is very quiet and gloomy with less one person in the house. Despite being sad, we stay strong and keep each other's company to go through the phase.